After a bit of a break, I’m back with more reviews. I took care of a couple of articles, and got some ideas for new ones already. Hopefully, they will be just as enjoyable as the first one. Now then, onto Ys Book I&II review.
Ah, the Turbo Duo, the cherished memories of days gone by. It’s not because I actually owned one as a kid, mind you, it’s because of all the hype. Back then, the system uses CDs! In the mind of an elementary school kid, CDs equals awesome! CDs made games so much more awesome! I had no idea what the hell a CD was. Well, I know the game’s in a CD, but other than that, I really didn’t know what it meant to be stored in a CD. Dammit, everybody knows CDs are cool. I remember seeing the screen shots and seeing how awesome the games look. Well today, I’m going to jump the gun and review a virtual console game that’s not yet been released. Today I will review Book of Ys I&II. I’m doing this for a couple of reasons. 1) I want to jump the gun and have a review before other people. 2) I don’t have enough reviews for other consoles. This is something I intend to rectify. 3) This game holds a special place in my heart, and is also something a little different from all the other reviews on HandheldWii, thus far. 4) Because I felt like it.
By the time I finally got to play the Turbo Duo, I was already smart enough to understand what a CD was. Part of the mystery’s all gone, but knowing the truth didn’t dampen my enthusiasm for playing the once haloed creation. The first game on my list was Castlevania Rondo Of Blood. Man, what a game. Spot on controls, good replay value, and an amazing soundtrack. Oh wait… I’m suppose to be talking about Ys. Yes, Ys, it was a groundbreaking game at the time as well. I believe it was the flagship game for the Turbo Duo. It was heralded as one the greatest games on the system. This game created a brand new genre called the walking sim. Never before has a game been able to recapture the excitement of walking around. I mean, seeing your character put one foot in front of the other was mind-blowing back then — and still is today. Can you possibly think of anything more exciting than walking around? Take that, you good for nothing floor! See a cavern filled with dangers? These mazes will test your ability to press the directional pad and solve puzzles (which are solved by more walking around)! I’m walking all over you thanks to the power made possible by the CD-ROM!
They didn’t just stop by making a walking game, there’s monster combat as well. How do you fight these monsters you ask? By walking into the them! “Take that, and that, and some of this, and some of that, and — wait, I just got hurt. How’d I get hurt? I was walking into that monster the same way as before.” Then I came to a shocking realization: I wasn’t fighting, I was fornicating! I fornicated with practically every monster on the map and caught aids. I better level up some more, and stock up on protection in the shops. For freedom, Adol must furiously fornicates flocks of ferocious fiends to free the forsaken folks from a feisty felon. Do you see that? That is the power of the CD! CDs are awesome!!!
With unparallel storage capacity back then (hell, 650 MB’s still no joke today), Ys took advantage of every MB. The Red Book soundtrack is stunning, giving each dungeon and map a rich soundtrack unmatched by any cartridge game. Falcom spared no expense and hired a team of kindergarten teachers to bring the cutscenes to life. Now, you too, can enjoy the condescending tone of story-telling in the comfort of your own home. These dialogs are also accompanied by a large still scene straight out of a picture book. Of course the actual in game graphics look like higher resolution NES with more colors. They do get better in Book II. They also crammed two games into a single disc. I know it’s an unfair comparison, but thanks to the CD, Ys really made The Legend of Zelda on the NES look like a hundred hour game. Thanks to the ginormous adventure of pre-school proportions, you might not even notice that you’ve progressed into the second game. If only this game didn’t require leveling up, you’d finish both books in about three hours or less. It is truly a testament of talent when you can stick two games into a CD, and still have a world smaller (like 5x smaller) than LOZ on the NES. These aren’t programmers, these are gods! This is the godly gift of the CD!
In case you haven’t figured it out by now, I hate this game. This game is rotting monkey feces on a stick. The hype surrounding this game made it all the more disappointing. It blows my mind how anyone could possibly find fun in a game where all you do is walk. You might want to occasionally press the “I” button to use magic in Book II. I have almost nothing good to say about this game save for the music. Well, I guess the plot’s ok. It’s nothing revolutionary, nor is it crap. Still, I want this game to die and burn in the depths of hell. When I said this game is different from other reviews from HandheldWii, I meant that this is the first truly bad game I’ve reviewed, so far. I didn’t want people to think I was soft on games.
Graphics: 42%
Pros: Large well drawn stills for cutscenes.
Cons: The actual graphics are bare bones. Animation is almost non-existent.
Gameplay: 8%
Pros: Some puzzles. You don’t have to play this game.
Cons: I had to play this game. Perpetual grind fest to lengthen 2 pathetically shallow games on a CD. Almost no gameplay to speak of, besides walking. Go check out the Mines in Book I… you’ll see, or rather, you won’t see. Lowest gameplay score yet.
Sound: 80%
Pros: The soundtrack is the only saving grace. The voices fit well enough.
Cons: The towns use the Turbo’s own sound chip. The acting’s tone remains me of a kindergarten teacher telling stories. Even modern games suffer from this. Diablo 2 and Oblivion just to name some. It’s still better than Resident Evil or SOTN though.
Controls: 90%
Pros: You walk.
Cons: And to think, I thought the Book II would improve upon the original by making the computer walk for you, instead, you have to like, press the I button to use magic. That’s a step backwards!
Story: 66%
Pros: Boy boy on an adventure to discover the ancient lost civilization and save it from destruction. Holds up well to this day.
Cons: Not the most exciting plot either.
Recommendation: If you like games with no gameplay, extreme bouts of repetition, or enjoy bad games. Everyone else, RUN!!!
Overall: 9% Suicide
