I leave you my last words before I am killed by hordes of Chrono Trigger fanboys.
HELP ME!
They’re after me; the Chrono Trigger fanboys. They’re going to kill me, tear me limb from limb, break every bone in my body, and tar and feather me. B-before I die, I would like to deliver you this review. [...]
Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category
Chrono Trigger DS
Posted in News, Reviews, tagged Chrono Trigger, DS Review on December 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Castlevania: Order Of Ecclasia Review
Posted in News, Reviews on October 30, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Man, what can I say about Castlevania: Order of Ecclasia? It was one of the toughest demons I’ve ever exorcised from a DS. Well, partly because I’m not an exorcists. I was just a homeless hippy sleeping in the bathroom of a church. Since no one else dared to tackle this beast, they came to [...]
Kirby Super Star Ultra Review
Posted in News, Reviews on September 27, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Kirby’s back, and he’s angry! Who wouldn’t be after getting crapped on by Crapcom’s Amazing Mirror and Squeak Squad. Join Kirby in his angriest adventure yet in Kirby’s Super Star Ultra — a remake of Kirby Super Star on the SNES. This isn’t a brand new game, but it does offer many surprises for veteran [...]
Space Invaders Extreme Review
Posted in News, Reviews on June 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Space Invaders Extreme just came out of nowhere for me. I guess I forgot it was the 30th anniversary for this game — a game so popular that it caused a national coin shortage in Japan! What is it about flying pooping alien crabs that just draws you back for more? Today, I proudly bring [...]
Book Of Ys I&II Review
Posted in News, Reviews on May 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
After a bit of a break, I’m back with more reviews. I took care of a couple of articles, and got some ideas for new ones already. Hopefully, they will be just as enjoyable as the first one. Now then, onto Ys Book I&II review.
Ah, the Turbo Duo, the cherished memories of days gone by. [...]
Legend of Kage 2 Review
Posted in News, Reviews on April 2, 2008 | 1 Comment »
The moon is recovering from what is best described as the most bizarre accident to occur in the last 100 billion years. A man had jumped so high, he rammed his head into the moon’s ass. Rescuers quickly arrived at the National Ninja Preserve to aid the hapless victims. After hours of painstaking hard work [...]
VC Review: Spelunker
Posted in News, Reviews on March 27, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Spelunker is one of the hardest games I’ve ever reviewed — and I mean gameplay wise and score wise. The game has elements of a good game, and yet it’s plagued with design choices that’ll make you scream in frustration. While some games have aged gracefully, Spelunker feels more like could have been something special.
Virtual Console – Super R-Type Review
Posted in News, Reviews on March 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Super R-Type for the Super Nintendo was super. Keyword here is “was.” Of course, back then, every game had “Super” in the title. While I know there was an arcade port of R-Type, I don’t recall whether Super R-Type is actually a port, or a new game. Well, no matter, that’s not the focus [...]
Nanostray 2 Review
Posted in News, Reviews on March 16, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Yeah, oooooo, ahhhh, that’s how it always starts. Then later come the running and screaming. I was dazzled by the visuals trickery, then I ran away screaming at the carnivorous man-eating gameplay of Iridion 3D and Nanostray. Luckily, Shin’en always delivers a sequel that more than makes up for its predecessor. Now why the hell [...]
Virtual Console – Super Turrican Review
Posted in News, Reviews on March 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
My dear readers, today, I will embark on a journey of unspeakable horrors. It is a game so bad, I had to don a hazmat suit before I dare to touch it. I do this all for you — the 2 or 3 people who actually know about this place — and play Super Turrican, [...]
