Super R-Type for the Super Nintendo was super. Keyword here is “was.” Of course, back then, every game had “Super” in the title. While I know there was an arcade port of R-Type, I don’t recall whether Super R-Type is actually a port, or a new game. Well, no matter, that’s not the focus of this review anyway.

Created in an age where sci-fi shooters ruled the arcades, the R-Type series was one of the great innovators of its time. Its versatile pod attachment and methodical gameplay put players to the ultimate test. This Super NES game is no slouch, either. Each level’s filled with a myriad of enemies, environmental hazards, and huge bosses to make your life miserable. Trust me, you will be miserable, because if you die at a boss battle, you must replay the entire stage all over again. There are no mid-level checkpoints in this game. While this adds to the challenge, it also adds unnecessary repetition. Don’t forget that you die in one hit. Another oddity is that the charge beam can’t be held down forever. Oh, you can charge indefinitely, but its level 2 power (the most useful one) will only last a few seconds before it dissipates and reverts back to level 1 charge. You must know the stage and time your charge, or you might be caught in heavy fire with a weaker blast. Well, at least you do have rapid fire, weapon power ups, and the Force Pod to help you out. The Force Pod was quite an ingenious invention, too. It is an invincible pod that can be mounted in the front or rear as a shield, or launched out to destroy and act as an extra helper (with extremely limited control). You will want to master this device if you want to survive.

While graphics aren’t everything, it does matter when it affects the gameplay. Case in point, slow-down. It is the bane of SNES action games, and Super R-Type is no exception. When large sprites and/or heavy fire engulfs the screen, be prepare for some annoying slow-downs. Otherwise, the visuals hold up very well for an early SNES game. The music also very aged gracefully, though I didn’t hear the traditional R-Type theme during the first stage.

Come to think of it, I don’t recall this game ever being “super” even back in the old days. The slow-down and the removal of mid-level checkpoints turned a hard game into a repetitive mission impossible. Had it been a little better designed, it would still be a damn solid game today. Sadly, that’s not the case. If you want to play R-Type on the Super SNES, go play R-Type 3 instead. If you still can’t stand the R-Type difficulty, try the recently released Nanostray 2 (which I scored quite well) on the DS, instead.

Graphics: 58%
Pros: Large bosses, vivid colors, and lots of sprites.
Cons: Slow-down kills gameplay. The score would have been higher had it not affected the gameplay in any way.

Gameplay: 57%
Pros: A difficult game, and good core mechanics.
Cons: Again, slow-down, and the lack of checkpoints makes this game more annoying than hard.

Sound: 72%
Pros: Still pretty darn good sounding music.
Cons: The limits of the SNES means some sounds are drowned out and lost when there’s too much going on.

Controls: 81%
Pros: Everything works well enough. The rapid fire option is a great feature.
Cons: Getting the force pod to reattach in a different position — although I guess this isn’t entirely a control issue. However, the charge shot’s limit is annoying. Oh and don’t grab too many speed power-ups, or else the slightest tap can send you crashing to your doom.

Story: 100%
Pros: Completely irrelevant to the gameplay.
Cons: Who cares.

Recommendation: This game is still worth a look for long time R-Type fans I guess. Masochists are always welcomed. Regular everyday folks stay far, far away.

Overall: 53%

Yeah, oooooo, ahhhh, that’s how it always starts. Then later come the running and screaming. I was dazzled by the visuals trickery, then I ran away screaming at the carnivorous man-eating gameplay of Iridion 3D and Nanostray. Luckily, Shin’en always delivers a sequel that more than makes up for its predecessor. Now why the hell couldn’t they get it right on the first try is beyond me, but I guess it’s better than suffering a lousy sequel to an already lousy game. Nanostray 2 is no exception, as this game shows that all it takes for Shin’en to make a good game is swift kick to the tailbone by critics and fans. Hold on to your seats folks, and get ready for some fantabulous old-school alien barbeque.

The gameplay is easily summed up as evil aliens going: “rwwaaarrrrr!” The peaceful planets are all: “waah waaaahhh!” I’m like: “yeehhhhaaa!” And then my ship is all: “pheeew pheeeew boom pheew booommmm!” Then all of a sudden there’s this boss and he’s all: “RAAAWWWR!” And I’m like: “humuna humuna humuna.” That about sums up the plot as well — that and an intergalactic virus outbreak.

As you can see from my eloquent explanation above, the gameplay’s standard shooter affair. It does, however, provide a few interesting tweaks to raise above the norm. First of all, the options (and by options, I mean little bits that float around your ship providing extra firepower) are more controllable than other shooters — including R-Type. With the push of a button, you can switch between a 45 degrees front/back shot, or a 90 degrees vertical (or horizontal depending on the stage) coverage. The stage design, enemy placement, and overwhelming odds forces you to put the options to good use. Your only other power-up comes in the form of a secondary weapon you pick at the beginning of each stage. They all use up your Nano Meter, and the amount varies depending on the destructive properties of each one. Most of them are very useful, but some will suit certain players’ style more than others. Recharging your Nano Meter is as simple as wiping out an entire wave of small enemies. This makes the secondary weapon more involving than the average smart bomb, but it’s not overpowering either.

Speaking of overpowering, the game has the usual Easy, Normal, and Hard for people of all skills. Although it’s probably more like Hard, Hell, and Bullet Orgy for the average player. And you gotta love one hit kills. This is one of those shooters where touching the scenery can also kill you. Lucky for you, they’re pretty generous with the continues. When you lose all your lives, you continue at the exactly where you died at — just like losing a life. There are no penalties like stripping you of your power-ups, either. The harder modes will still surprise you with new enemies even if you already beat it on easy. The bosses do piss me off in Hard Mode. While they’re harder, they also have like 6x the life, and once you’ve figured out the pattern, it becomes a boring endurance test than a test of reflexes.

So why am I so hyped about the controls yesterday? Oh, the regular buttons work very well, and are hardly innovative — that was until I discovered the touch screen controls. When I first saw it in the option menu, I really didn’t give it any thought. There’s no way the touch screen could provide an even better experience, right? WRONG! The touch screen allows for greater flexibility in maneuvering, and speed control. Because I had pixel accuracy with my ship’s movement, I was able to navigate some of the tightest spots riddled with enemy fire. Best of all, you can adjust ship speed to suit you at the beginning of each stage. Not once did I blame my death on the touch screen controls. I recommend everyone to give the touch screen controls a chance before writing it off. If you still don’t like it, there’s always the traditional method.

Finally, we get to the graphics and music. Fans of Shin’en’s previous efforts will not be disappointed. Lavishly rendered background, huge bosses, and a kicking techno soundtrack all come together beautifully. Some bosses are simultaneously cool and lame. Fighting a liquid metal face, lame? That liquid metal face also appears to be rendered with simple vertex shaders. It sure wouldn’t hurt to see and hear more in this game. I wonder if Shin’en would ever consider using their technology on other genres.

To round out the package, there’s also extra challenges like Contra, Arcade mode, Wi-Fi play, and online leader boards to keep you playing. While Shin’en has always made the better sequel, Nanostray 2 is easily one of their best shooter yet. This is a game for the real hardcore player. You will dive into bullet hell, come out unscathed, and jump onto the roof buck naked beating your chest and screaming in triumph. Ok, maybe you didn’t need to know about the last part, but it has that effect on people, I swear. And don’t wuss out like Gamepro (check their review, they didn’t even try the touch controls), or you could very well miss out on something really awesome!

Graphics: 88%
Pros: Some of the best graphics on the DS.
Cons: Some bosses look kinda lame.

Gameplay: 80%
Pros: Challenging, fun, and some replay value.
Cons: It’s still only 8 stages long (a shooter standard though). Even the easiest difficulty can stump casual players.

Sound: 86%
Pros: Great techno soundtrack, and the computer voice has a very lively feeling to the acting.
Cons: Well, 8 stages mean there’s about 8 track plus some other music for menus and ending.

Control: 93%
Pros: Regular controls are fine, touch screen control’s awesome.
Cons: Your hand does get in the way when using touch controls. I never died because of it though.

Story: 57%
Pros: It moves you along with some plot about viruses and defeating Momtroid Brain (you’ll see).
Cons: My version of the story’s better. And again, doesn’t matter what I give it, it’s irrelevant to the gameplay.

Recommendation: Old school gamers, shoot’em up fans, or people looking for some action should look into this. If you play nothing but RPGs or FPS games, stay the hell away. This game will eat you up. And yes, I copied and pasted this part from my Contra 4 review.

Overall: 80%

My dear readers, today, I will embark on a journey of unspeakable horrors. It is a game so bad, I had to don a hazmat suit before I dare to touch it. I do this all for you — the 2 or 3 people who actually know about this place — and play Super Turrican, by Factor 5. The mere mention of this name should give you visions of unspeakable terror. Who knows what evil lurks within a game by Factor 5? Before you read this review, I suggest you also prepare to sanitize yourself as well. I mean, after seeing Lair on the PS3, who knows what this abomination is capable of? Super Turrican could very well be the last game you’ll ever play.

My mission starts off at the ancient ruins of a once mighty alien civilization. The alien planet is a gorgeous yet treacherous land. I marvel at each background’s vivid colors and parallax scrolls while many sprites walk around without slow down. I wish I could spend more time admiring the scenery, but I had to run through the world like a walrus with a lit stick of dynamite up his butt. For once that burning fuse known as time limit runs out — kablooey! To further hinder my mission, enemies everywhere yearn for my loving craft of pulverization — and pulverize I will with one of the three available guns. Worst of all, questions constantly race through my mind as I stood before various paths laid before me. Should I explore this path; will it delay me from reaching the exit; and how much time do I have left? All these questions zipped through my head while precious seconds passed by. Suddenly, my mighty flesh rending beam of fun passes through the walls like a graphical glitch by an amateur programmer. If weren’t for my keen wits and eagle eyes, you could have gotten away with your ugly mistake, Factor 5! In a moment of defiance to further mock the incompetence of the programmers, I fired my beam through their ugly mistake to show off my superior intellect! Then it turns out I was shooting at an illusionary wall designed to cover the secret entrance. Once again, thanks to my finely tuned gaming skills and cunning, I reap the reward of gems and 1ups in the secret room. The sections without much exploration required more good old fashioned platforming skills, and fast reflexes. Though the game could use a few more bosses here and there.

The controls are ace, though the electric stun beam is a bit awkward to aim. It rotates at a full 360 degrees, and will continue to rotate as you hold either the left or right button. I found the stun beam useless anyway, so it’s no big deal. Multi-directional aiming for normal weapons would be nice for a game with enemies coming in many directions. Although this isn’t exactly a control related issue, the camera’s movement is slightly delayed whenever you move, and it could lead to some annoying problems when quick left and right jumping’s required.

I could careless about the plot, but there is a plot in there somewhere. I think it’s something about Galactus having sex with The Shredder and giving birth to some weird hybrid that took over an alien world. The Master Chief cruises through the galaxy in his pimp-mobile picks up the alien distress signal, and decided it was time to kick ass and chew bubble. I don’t know, I spent more time reading the end credits to see who else was in Factor 5 back then, than spend time reading whatever plot that was there.

The release of Lair on the PS3 was a huge disappointment for Factor 5 fans. The game was panned by critics everywhere due to the controls and disappointing gameplay. What’s worse, the game also raped your mom, spread AIDS across the globe, punched kittens, and rendered all their previous efforts to crap — Super Turrican is no exception. With a huge hole torn through the space time continuum caused by the suckage of Lair, Super Turrican must pay the price of fanboy logic. This game would have been amazing if it was released in 1993 without the heinous sin known as Lair created in 2007!

Graphics: 85%
Pros: Colorful sprites, no slow down, and lots of effects.
Cons: Some areas could use more inspired art. The last stage screams Alien ripoff. Gameplay: 76%
Pros: Intense combat and Metroid like exploration. The levels still have a single linear exit, but you’re rewarded for your exploration with powers ups.
Cons: The roll up ball feature is kind of useless, and so are the bombs you drop in ball form. The game is over too quickly. Not enough cool boss fights.

Sounds: 80%
Pros: Each level is split up into a few sections, and almost every section has it’s own music. Very good stereo effects too.
Cons: Doesn’t fit the game very well.

Controls: 83%
Pros: Virtually everything is solid.
Cons: Still not 100% perfect, but my main gripe is the stun beam aiming. It’s just a pain.

Story: 100%
Pros: There’s a story.
Cons: And nobody gives a damn.

Recommendation: People who enjoy a mix of Contra and Metroid. Not recommended for people who believe Lair sucked so bad, that all their previous efforts should also be hated.

Overall: 79%